When happiness Disappears
by wiccanstar07
Summary: A daughter caught in dismay will find one way or another to be happy. but who is the one that is going to save her?
1. Pro thru 3

**Prologue**

It was long ago in a world right outside the non-magical. Two brothers that come from a family so strung out on blood purity, it spreads across the whole of England.

"Sirius!" Screams a shrill voice. Yet an oblivious Sirius Black sits in his bedroom. With a look of pure longing he stares at the pictures of his friends that line his walls. With all his heart he prayed for summer to end to get out of this hell hole. Every passing minute felt like an eternity to the trapped boy, until the day he could see them again.

Mean while, Bellatrix sits on the dining room with the elbows propping her head up. Marinating in her dark thought Regulus taps her shoulder bringing her out of the daze.

"What happened this time?" He asks with a cruel smirk playing on his face.

"Stuff it." She mumbles trying to fall back into her misery.

**Chapter One: Hello**

My Family isn't the best you could have, hell I would have chosen someone else if I had the chance. Too much talk of blood purity, it's actually starting to make me sick.

My father disappeared about sixteen years ago. My mother, well to put it as nicely as possible, I hate her. May be I should take a small step back and introduce myself. My name is Alexandra Demetria Riddle, the daughter of Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange.

I know that thought everyone immediately thinks once they know who I am. "We're going to die she going to kills all the muggle hide them at once." But really I'm not the bad at least I don't think I am. My name has done me more harm than it ever will good, that's why I mostly I go by Alex Adams.

And this is my story it needs to be told, no matter how hard it is for me to write these words down.

**Chapter Two: Alone**

I'm a sixteen years old girl that has finally boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time. Hogwarts is the school of my dreams and it took forever to get to it. I have to work up to be an official sixth years, which really sucks if you ask me. It will take a month at tops to start my real classes.

I sit alone in the last compartment in the back of the train hiding in my black cloak, warming my frozen body. Hiding who I am is what I do best, but the time to show my true identity is fast approaching. Some cocky blonde is standing in front of my door; his "I'm-so-sexy" arrogance annoys me.

"What's your name?" He asks for about the fifth time. I don't utter a single word to him knowing if I do I would spill all my little secrets. But he doesn't seem to be getting the message, so if he doesn't leave I will hex him. "What's your house? What year are you in?"

"Look, I don't like questions. So get away from me, child." I snap, no longer being able to hold my tongue.

"Do you know who you're talking to? I'm Draco Malfoy and I was trying to be nice to a little loser like you." He states as if I had just knocked him off his high horse for about two seconds.

"Does it sound like I really care who you are?" I ask staring at the window watching the trees pass by. Suddenly the compartment door slams shut and I hear some shouting going on in the hall a few doors down.

"What's wrong, Draco? She didn't want to sleep with you?" A guy teases. I open my door to peek at who said those words. A tall raven haired boy with shocking emerald eyes.

"Shut up, Potter." Draco Shouts venom dripping from every word.

"Hey girl, do you want to come sit with us?" Harry asks waving to get my attention that he already had. I shake my shadowed face and close the door with complete silence.

"The famous Harry Potter stuck up for me. Just wait till he finds out who I am I think he would take that back within milliseconds." I whisper to myself. All alone dwelling in the silence as sleep takes hold of me.

**Chapter Three: Disappointment**

Standing behind all the first years makes me want to laugh. They're so scared and I just have a feeling that their nervousness will get the better of them. I'm pulled aside by a freakishly old looking woman to be told that I will be sorted last. To tell the truth I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

For what seems to take forever the last small and scared first years is sorted. The time has come for me to pull off my hat and show the world who I am.

"Alexandria Riddle," Sliding off my hood to reveal the mirror image of my father. The sorting hat is placed on my thick mass of wavy ebony hair. A million whispers burst through out the room as everyone locks their eyes on me.

"It's been almost fifty-six years since I've had a Riddle to sort. Ahh…yes you're very smart, sly, brave, and an overwhelming amount of pride. Not to mention that your quick wit, this is going to take a minute. The split between two houses may have come today, which would be best though? Slytherin or Gryffindor…." The hat whisper in my ear. " Slytherin!"

I nod feeling the disappointment fill my small body. Knowing that I was already branded for having half my DNA from a mad man and now I'm in Slytherin. My Violet eyes scan the table at my deadly silent dorm mates. This is my fate as I slowly walk to the table, my face set hard as stone.

I look at Snape who seems to like to smirk at me to show his victory. Anger slowly starting to boil underneath my skin, I can feel my change starting. I pull the hood over my head to hide or put myself in some deep trouble.

'Damn, he gets under my skin too quickly,' I say in my head. Soon as the head master finished his speech I got up and approached him.

"Yes?" He asks looking at me.

"Can you grant me a request?" I state looking at only him, knowing if I look at Snape that I would fully change.

"What is the request?"

"To leave now, I'm not very hungry. Plus, all these eyes are making me really uncomfortable." I say quietly. "I also would need the password to the common room. Who do I ask for that?"

"Draco Malfoy knows the common room password. Be careful." The headmaster says granting my small wish. I nod my thanks and head back to the table.

"What's the password?" I whisper to Draco trying to leave as quickly as possible.

"What are you talking about?" he asks being a prat, and a little too arrogant with me.

"Unless you want a sick girl messing up your cloths I suggest you speak." Is all I had to say to get to him.

"Mudblood." Draco states faster than I have ever heard anyone speak. What I didn't notice is that he got a hold of my cloak before I started to walk away.

As the cloak slides off my shoulders I shudder at the sudden cold. Showing off my barely there skirt and matching long sleeve shirt, silver pin stripes covering both of them. White mid-thigh stockings that have silk bows holding them up. Of course the silver and green tie to put the entire outfit together, the back being covered by my tumbling ebony locks.

"Not a good move on your part, Malfoy." I state holding on to the death glare as I leave the great hall. With all eyes and dropped jaw


	2. Four thru Six

**Chapter Four: Welcoming**

As I enter the common room it feels damp and morbid. Pulling out my journal I find a small fragment of comfort. Summoning a warm blanket I settle down by the fire. After the tension at dinner this relaxes my entire body.

_**Oggi e il nove settembre**_

_**E martedi**_

_**Italy is still stuck in me. I miss the beauty and warmth of the setting sun. This is my dream school yes, but the smell of this place is nothing compared to the warm enticing place I called home. The thought of the smells of grapes and coffee and fresh bread being cooked make me miss home even more. Forget all that right now I need to get the issues out of my mind.**_

_**The rest of the wizarding word knows about me now. I couldn't even touch a lick of food because it was so awkward. I hope this was the right thing to do. I know many people will hate me just because of the name I carry the true name of my father. This is really a lot to take in in one night. But I have to push through no matter what it takes.**_

_**Tomorrow classes begin and I know the tension might get worse before it will get better. I've already got plenty of death stares from at least half the school. I don't think Hogwarts was ready for me.**_

_** La Luna Nero**_

I hear the students coming from the feast so I must hide this book frantically. Many of the students lost in conversation and awe don't notice me. Except a single tall arrogant blonde.

"So you're a Riddle." Draco states with a smart arse smirk.

"And?" I ask annoyed by his presence.

"Calm down, I'm on your side." He says trying to touch my hand. I snatch my hand away from him as if he were a disease.

"That side would be?" I inquire looking into the flames. 'I don't have a side or a choice.'

"As a Slytherin we have to stick together and help one another when it is needed. No matter how much we dislike each other." Draco whisper as he walks away.

It took an hour for his words to truly sink in. Realizing that if I'm going to make it in this school I have to deal with people that I really don't like, or its they that hate me. Slowly the warmth of the flames lull me to the darkness of my mind.

**Chapter Five: Muirn Beatha Dan**

"Stop, calm down you don't need to fight me." A strong warm voice rings in my ear. My tantrum calms slightly as my eyes pop open.

"Let go of me." I murmur through a pained voice box. Releasing me from his strong arms I look to see a beautiful Italian or Greek god.

"Better now?" he asks, it seems the Slytherin house hasn't tainted him.

"Bene." I whisper looking away from him before I start to gawk at his nearly perfect face.

"Look at me." A soft demand spills from his lips. "Trust is a hard thing to come by, but not all the Slytherins are the same. Try to relax I'm not going to stab you in the back or something."

At his words I flinch. "Don't say that line ever again."

"Okay, I won't." He agrees offering open arms to me. The cold of the dungeon starts to make me shiver. "I'm Blaise."

"Alexandria." I whisper scooting a little closer to his warmth.

"I won't bite." Blaise jokes as he pulls me into his arms.

"I bet you do." I tease letting his warmth sink into my chilled skin. "Thank you." Slowly the night and coldness fades as no night terrors come to my sound sleep.

**Chapter Six: The Beginning**

I awake alone feeling refreshed like I had finally had a good dream. It's been years since that has ever happened to my wakeful nightmares. A hunger rising from my empty stomach fills my small frame. Feeling as if I hadn't eaten in many weeks.

"Shower then food. " I state. "The start of day one; hopefully it won't turn out to be total hell."

As the hot water runs over my body, burning my flesh slightly. The heat sending relief throughout the small frame I try to hide. Relaxing my body to a point that if I need to defend myself I would be ready. Dazing out and thinking of the past years, my body tension builds up again.

"Did you see how skinny she is? You would think a girl like her would be better looking." A girl snickers pulling me from my dark memories.

'It's time to go,' I think shutting the water off. As I leave the shower room I look at myself in the mirror. To see every rib show makes me feel sick to my stomach. And every bone in my body can be seen through my slightly tanned skin. Shame fills me like a tidal wave. I have such a tiny frame it seems too easily breakable.

Walking down the deserted halls of the dungeon to the great hall. I get a feeling of being watched and start to freak out inwardly.

"Who's there?" I ask looking around the shadowed hallway. On the ready for an attack to happen.

"Calm yourself, Riddle." Draco purrs coming out from a jet black corner. "Just wanted to walk you to breakfast." I turn away and continue walking toward the great hall.

"I don't want the company." I exclaim trying to remember last night dream.

"You didn't mind Blaise's company last night." He smirks making me want to slap him.

"If it really happened I would believe you." I state gritting my teeth.

"But it is true, princess." Draco whispers walking past me.

"It wasn't real!" I shout down the hall hoping my words ring the truth. "It couldn't have."


	3. Seven thru Ten

**Chapter Seven: Classes**

Okay, I'll be working on about one year per week. I only wish I could just test out of my first through fifth year classes. Being a regular sixth year student would be amazing right now. What seems to aggravate me the most is that it's going to take over a month to get through the first five years.

'If these essays don't stop rolling in my hands are going to fall off,' I say to myself. 'Well that two down and ten more to go.'

In transfigurations I find that the teacher is the old lady that sorted me. Her name is McGonagall, or as I have to call her Professor McGonagall. All she says to me is that she will need a few seconds after class. The time seems to tick away slowly I seem to be tired or something because I'm really about to fall asleep. Forcing myself to stay awake seems to be the hardest thing I have to do in her class so far.

**Chapter Eight: Snape**

Professor Snape is being a total pain in my arse. As he asks all these simple questions that only a first year would have trouble answering. Is he trying to make me look stupid or something?

"Where would you find wolvesbane?" he asks, I refrain from rolling my eyes.

"Why wouldn't you find it in the dungeon, Professor?" I reply trying to sound sweet and innocent.

"Time to brew a potion." His arrogant attitude slipping slightly. As the bell rings ending class, I smirk knowing that I'll pay for my attitude later on.

"Professor, does it hurt being showed up by a girl?" I ask running from the room before I could get detention.

Lunch time, YES! The food looks great but it is still hard to eat with a million eyes staring at you. Grabbing a few pieces of bread and fruit I start for the doors. Until a voice rings over the crowd.

"Ms. Riddle, hold it right there." Snape's sleazy voice states. As his tall figure walks over to me. In a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "Detention for a week for that little stunt earlier." A sly grin crosses my face knowing full well his plans with me.

"And you'll never see me there." I state."Keep trying to humiliate me, Snape. It's not as easy as you may think it will be." Grabbing hold of my arm before I can walk away, I glare at him.

"Remember this child while daddy is away you have to play by my rules." He smirks.

"And if you don't get your hand off me I will go to Azkaban for murder of a fellow death eater." I warn in fake sweetness. As soon as the words slip from my mouth so did his grip. Murmurs spread through the great hall like wild fire while his hand drops. I turn away from Snape and head towards the doors, with a gentle shove they open. "Oh and Professor Snape I play by my rules and no one else's." Leaving the great hall waving to a stunned Snape as the doors slam behind me.

**Chapter Nine: Unknown Kindness**

Flitwick is amazingly small in stature, but a great teacher. I start to feel all warm inside when I have his class. Plus, the lessons are never boring, they're kinda fun. I don't know who this girl is beside me, but the poor feather is burnt to a crisp. As gently as I can I help the distraught child.

"Make the wand movement more graceful and longer stokes. Now take my feather and try again." I whisper to her hoping no one will notice. Placing the feather in front of her I wait. "Also, don't get nervous." Her cheeks start to turn a bright pink hue.

"Thank you." She utters in a tiny mouse like voice.

"Don't thank me just try again." I state trying not to sound cold.

"Wingardium leviosa." Her voice squeaks as the feather starts to float at her control.

"Never think that you can't do something, no matter how hard it may seem." I encourage as I turn back to the professor.

As classes pass in a blur I try to find that kindness again. But a block in my head seems to have formed. I find my same cold as ice attitude seeping through again.

**Chapter Ten: Punishment**

Days and nights starts to blur by as the weeks fly by. The only changes seem to be my schedule. Classes, lunch, classes, dinner, homework, and then it's time for the dorm room to relax and sleep just to start the same thing for the next day.

Everything seems unchanging until this morning. As the call burns my body just from a small part on my arm. I refuse to be called like a dog, and I refuse to be controlled. The pain that shoots from the dark mark makes me want to cry.

"Something has happened to anger or please him." I state walking to the shower room. I ignore the pain as I look at my reflection. The food giving my frame a bit more meat to it.

As the water runs over my head drenching my entire body. The heat of the water reddening my paling skin. The shampoo scent carries me into a calm. Strawberry fields surround my senses as I'm filled with warmth. A small slip of the reality of my everyday life. Until another sharp pain bursts through my body.

After the morning classes end lunch begins. The air in the castle is suffocating, someone or something is here. Loud pops can be heard above my head as a ring of death eaters curse me to the floor. Beating me with unspoken curses for what seems an eternity. Within seconds they are gone and I'm on the floor broken internally. I stand on wobbling legs as my cheek gushes blood. A gash on my arm above the blood covered dark mark is seen by all. With the remains of my strength I walk toward the great hall doors.

"Help." I whisper as my vision fades into darkness.


	4. Eleven thru Thirteen

**Chapter Eleven: A New Liking**

Compared to waking up in the dungeon this place feels so warm. Even if the bed underneath me feels as hard as a rock. The warmth is welcoming until the memory of what happened yesterday is flashing in my closed eyes. I open my eyes to find a set of serious stone colored eyes watching me.

"What happened?" I ask hoping what I remember was a dream.

"You were attacked then passed out. And may I say you were quiet graceful." He jokes as a real smile crosses his face.

"Shut up." I say turning toward his pale, but beautiful face.

"At least you're okay." Draco says picking at a piece of stray hair that fell over my eyes.

"You helped me, didn't you?" I ask looking away from his eyes. As his eyes go from stone to a liquid silver.

"Are you going to thank me?" he inquires with cockiness, ruining the moment.

"Now I'm not." I state closing up my softer side.

"Never forget this, through thick and thin Slytherin's support each other. So don't be like that." Draco whisper kissing my forehead. "Rest now and I'll check on you later." Making my breath catch as he walks away from me.

"How did you get under my skin?" I ask in an unheard whisper. Sleep pulls at me taking me into darkness. Night terrors plaguing every inch of my mind.

"Wake up!" Someone screams as my eyes pop open. Snape has a bloody nose and someone else is stunned. I look into the pools of silver and lung at him. Startling him as I grab hold to a piece of comfort.

"Draco," I whisper his name as if he wasn't real. My embrace doesn't loosen hoping that this isn't a dream.

"I'm here now." He says pushing hair from my sweat cover face. "Calm down, I'm not going anywhere."

"I wish everything was alright." I whimper looking into his silver orbs. "I did something and now someone is paying for it."

As Ron and I walk into the hospital wing to see Harry, the Riddle girl is crying.

"Ron look." I state nudging his arm.

"She has feelings." He remarks disgust rimming his features.

"Look who's holding her though." I persist trying to make him see how dangerous this situation could be.

**Chapter Twelve: A New Beginning**

Sleep falls easily over an exhausted Alexandria as I hold her, stroking her soft ebony hair. I don't know what it is about her that makes me want to be better. The soft smoothness of her skin against mine makes me shiver. And when she lunged at me I swear I felt my breath catch for a moment.

"I'll be back soon." I whisper wanting to stay at her side, but knowing I couldn't. "You took a big risk by holding on to me. I can't be falling for you." Fighting the urge to look at her one last time I leave the hospital wing.

Cold air hits my slender frame waking me to a sunny day.

"You need to eat so stop starving yourself child." Madame Pomfrey critiques me.

'Already half way there anyways,' I think grimly. "I'm not trying to if that's what you're implying."

"Once everything is checked you can leave." She states handing me about ten potions to swallow.

"I can leave after I drink these?" I ask holding one of the small vials up.

"Yes." She says walking to check on someone else. I swallow the potions as fast as possible.

"I can finally leave." I sigh with relief as my back cracks. Pushing my body off the stone bed I head toward the doors of the hospital wing. Suddenly I hear the word I have always hated.

"Where are you going, death eater?" I turn to see who said these cruel words.

"What did I ever do to you for you to call me that?" I ask trying to hide the pain from a single word.

"Your kind took away the life I should have had." Harry sourly states walking past me.

"This wasn't my choice." I whisper as I run to the dungeon. Tears stinging my eyes as I fight with them trying to keep them from falling.

The hospital wing feels so empty as I walk to where Alexandria's bed is. Finding the bed empty fills me with panic.

"Madame Pomfrey, do you know where Alexandria went?" I ask sounding calmer then I felt.

"She was released today." She states returning to whatever she was doing.

"Where are you?" I ask to the air hoping for a reply that wouldn't come. "I haven't seen you since I left last night. Dinner, maybe you're there." I run down the hall full speed heading toward the great hall.

I look up to find Draco breathing a little hard.

"Blaise, have you seen Alexandria?" He asks fear glowing in his eyes.

"Isn't she still in the hospital wing?" I ask concern hidden behind my mask.

"Obviously not if I'm asking you." Draco's voice rings with anger. "Help me find her. She better be okay or else."

"Let's go." I demand already running out the great hall. Draco catching up swiftly and without falter.

**Chapter Thirteen: Alone Again**

The razor sharp silver edge touches my skin. I sigh knowing that this is what many people want to happen to me. The lines on my arm glowing crimson with flowing blood. This is my end, this is my fate.

"To be alone forever or dead." I say to myself watching the blood drip down my legs. "Which one to choose? Which one will make things feel right?" Tears starting to fall from closed eyes. I look at the razor in my hand, the silver catching the light coming through the window. 'The color of Draco's eyes matches the blade.'

"Alex, no!" someone screams as the world fades into darkness.

** Dream **

**An evil laugh echo's off the walls, while screams of pain can be heard.**

**"Come forth, Alexandria." A cold voice demands in a soft tone.**

**"My lord," I bow knowing what would happen if I didn't.**

**"You failed me and you know how much I hate failure." Voldemort snaps making me flinch.**

**"Please, let me try again. I can do this and I won't fail you again. Please, my lord forgive me." I beg hoping for mercy.**

**"You're forgiven but a punishment must happen. I can't pull favoritism just because you're my child." He chuckles as if he said a joke.**

**"I understand." I whisper waiting for the command for my punishment.**

**"Bellatrix, anyone of your choice is to take her to 'the room', to tame her rebellion." Voldemort states his cold stare stuck on me. I lower my head knowing that I can't fight this punishment, shame fills my body.**

**"As you wish, my lord." Bellatrix replies pointing to one of the new death eaters. "You carry out this punishment."**

** End of Dream **


	5. Fourteen thru Sixteen

**Chapter Fourteen: Evil Angel**

Waking to cold sweat and fear shaking my body. Seeing a white gauze pad on my wrist reminds me of what I did. Two motionless figures ten feet away breathing softly in a restless sleep. Slowly removing the cover from my body I head towards the showers. To burn off the thoughts and cleanse my body from that horrible memory of the past. Being stopped by a death grip on my arm makes me start to freak out.

"Let go. Please let go." I plead trying to peel off their grip, not thinking with a witch's mind.

"Calm yourself I just want to know where you're going." A sleepy voice mumbles standing up. Stretching out his lean body makes my breath catch.

"Shower." I whisper trying to look away.

"Well, breakfast is going to start in about fifteen minutes. Blaise and I will meet you in the common room." Draco says as he gently touches my upper arm, giving me chills.

"uh-huh." I slur in drunken ecstasy. His warm hand leaves my arm as a cold spot takes the place of it. Groaning at the absence of his warmth I leave the dorm room. "I can't be close to anyone, that's too much of a danger. I have to try to keep him from getting hurt."

The shower water beats down on my shoulder blades, steamy hot water burning my flesh as I wash away stress and dark thoughts. A knock on the stall door shocks me back to reality.

"Draco and Blaise are waiting in the common room for you." A girl snarls. "Why is he so hung up on you? He should be mine not yours."

"Close your mouth or I'll do it for you." I threaten trying not to think of hexes that I could do to her.

"Don't make them wait too long or you'll have to answer to me." She says slamming the door behind her. As the water pressure dies down to a single drop of water I wrap myself in a warm fluffy towel.

"How I can't stand her. I wish I could put her in her place." I whisper wishing I had hexed her when I had the chance. Walking into the dorm room a cool breeze touches my skin making me shiver slightly.

Rummaging through my clothes to find the perfect thing to wear starts to make me nervous. Pulling out a mini skirt that is the color of the sky and a white shirt with a silvery glitter skull and cross bones. To complete the outfit black knee high socks and black flat Mary Janes that have a skull clasp.

"And to complete it all my tie." I say looking in the mirror. Casting a small charm to add a light layer of black eyeliner and clear lip gloss. "All ready to go." Heading to the common room to find the boys pacing. Shocking them out of their frantic thoughts as I laugh.

"Well, it's time to eat lets go." Blaise states putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Did I make you starve yourself, Blaise?" I ask trying not to laugh at him.

"No, why do you ask?" he answers making me walk a little bit faster.

"You're rushing me to the great hall." I point out at the pace of our strides.

"Sorry, I'm kind of hungry." Blaise whispers as if it were a huge secret. I push him away playfully and accidently fall on Draco for the fact that Blaise didn't move an inch.

"Sorry." I whisper trying not to blush at my clumsiness.

"Look at me." He demands in a feather light tone. I look up knowing that something is wrong with him. "Don't you ever try to pull a stunt like that again; I was scared that you weren't going to wake up."

"I'm sorry." I mumble looking away from Draco's stone colored eyes. "I wasn't thinking straight last night when I did that." Being pulled into a hug was the last thing I expected, but his warmth makes me want to melt. I pull myself away from his arms quickly and keep walking towards the great hall.

I feel her body relax into mine but instantly she tenses back up. As she pulls away I can feel an ache in my chest. I hide the pain from showing the best I can.

"She has you head over heels." Blaise says running to catch up with her.

"I wish I could lie and say she did." I whisper to myself as I finish the walk to the great hall by myself. Opening the great hall doors shock sets into my body.

"Death eater!" Potter says as I see Alex pummel his to the ground. Instantly a huge silver bubble surrounds the both of them.

"I'll say this once and only once so get it through your thick skull. If I did bare the dark mark you would be dead by now. So hold your tongue and realize that I didn't choose my family. Stop holding that against me and I didn't kill your parents my father did. I didn't kill them do you understand that!" Rage clear in her voice as her wand is drawn. The teachers can't get through the bubble and spells are dissolving into it. I run over to the bubble expecting it to be solid as a rock, but to my surprise my hand goes through it.

"Alex, come on over here and calm down." I plead as I see the fury slowly grain from her eyes. Walking over to me looking completely zoned out. All of a sudden the bubble disappears and she's in my arms crying. I pull her head up from my chest and wipe away her tears, kissing her forehead for reassurance. "It's okay now that I'm here."

"I know." She whispers as I pick her up and leave the great hall.

"I know you bare the mark, but you're like an angel. You're my evil angel." I whisper as she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder.

**Chapter Fifteen: Threats or Reminders**

Professor Snape's class seems to be dragging on, as I try not to doze off throughout the hour.

"Miss Riddle, is there anything wrong?" He asks pulling me from a daze.

"No, nothing's wrong Professor." I answer leaning my head in my palms.

"Then if nothing is wrong stay awake in my class." Snape snaps trying to demand respect.

"I'll try to." I answer without thinking of any consequence.

"Watch how you speak to me." He snarls trying to strike fear into my heart.

"I'll try to." I repeat without fear.

"Now everyone should be done brewing their potion." Snape says to the whole class ignoring everyone but me. With a cold look he stares trying with all his might to remain calm. A loud explosion could be heard from across the room.

"Fifth years." I whisper rolling my eyes at the thought that I once was one. I walk up to Snape's desk and drop the potion in front of him. "Can I go now?"

"We need to talk before you leave." He states in a low tone. As the last of the fifth years leave the potions class room, he locks the doors.

"We need to talk about what?" I ask trying not to freak out about the locked door, and also the lack of an escape.

"Watch out for who you care for, they might get hurt." Snape grins.

"Is that a threat, Severus?" I inquire trying not to think of Draco or Blaise.

"No not at all, it's just a friendly reminder for you to remember." He states with a flick of his wand the doors unlock. "You're dismissed."

"You can't dismiss me like I'm a dog. I wouldn't need to waste your breath with those words. I would have gladly left on my own without your ignorance." I say as I leave the door way to enter an empty hallway. "Thank you goddess that this is my last week of being anything but what I am." The hallways of the dungeon seem to be silent as death itself, making me feel on edge. Grabbing my wand I prepare for anything to happen.

"Hello, evil angel." A sly voice calls from a shaded corner.

"Don't ever do that again you almost made me have a heart attack. Plus, you were about to be hexed." I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Sorry about that I was just wondering why it took you so long to get to lunch." He says placing his arm around my waist.

"Snape." I growl.

"Food time lets go." Draco states starting towards the great hall. Stopping completely with his arm around me I slip. Falling to the floor as he falls almost completely on top of me.

"Ouch." I whisper as a fraction of his weight is crushing my ribs. Centimeters away from his soft pink lips the space starts to close. Unable to hold back on what I want I wrap my arms around his neck closing the small distance. The feeling of his warm lip on mine starts making my body feverish. My lips part as he pleads for more. Snape's words play in my mind as I pull away for air. "This can't happen again." Pushing him off of me I sit up.

"What's wrong?" He asks standing up brushing off the invisible dust. Holding out a hand to help me up, I gently grab hold as I'm lifted like a sack of potatoes. Knowing this would be one of the last kind gestures I could accept.

"I can't let you be my fault." I state running down the hall away from a breaking heart. Once around the corner a single tear slides down my cheek and I know I didn't just hurt him I hurt myself. "I got too close and now I'm screwing myself over. He doesn't care if I'm happy or not he only cares if I'm obedient and loyal."

**Chapter Sixteen: Shock**

At the sound of her voice I felt a pain stab me in the heart.

'Does she fear that Voldemort will hurt me? Why did you do this?' I ask turning the corner to see a tear glisten her face. Wiping the tear away she starts running again. "One day you'll see why I'm not going to give up."

Walking into the kitchen to find the golden trio sitting at the table. "Oh, sorry. Dobie, can you do me a favor?" I ask as they glare at me. Forcing back tears didn't work as well as I hoped as the tears start to fall like rain drops. The golden trio look in shock at the show of emotion they were getting.

"What's wrong, Miss Riddle?" Dobie asks touching my arm lightly.

"Everything, Dobie. But if it's not too much trouble could send something to eat up to my room I have a feeling I won't be leaving there for a few days. Plus, I'm not heading down to dinner if I feel like this for a few more hours." I state getting control over my tears now, as my body starts to tremble.

"But of course, Miss Riddle." He bows out of respect.

"Dobie, please don't bow and you can call me Alex." I whisper in his ear. With the look on his face I think that he might cry. "Please don't cry it's a simple request, it won't end the world." I smile touching his chin.

As Ron's mouth drops open at the sight of a real smile on a Slytherin. Her smile makes her face glow as if she was an angel.

"Harry, are you there? Are you okay?" Hermione asks as she looks at my dazed eyes.

"Fine, just fine." I answer looking away from Alexandria Riddle.

"You look like you've seen a god or something. Where you looking at her?" She asks concern could be read on her face plain as day. "Ron, shut your mouth before something flies into it."

"Both." I reply at the thought of her smile. 'My enemy has beauty on her side.'

"Potter," Alexandria says quietly. "Potter."

"Harry!" Hermione says shaking me.

"Yes?" I ask her.

"If you want to talk to her do it now." She states looking at Alexandria.

"Yes?" I say to Alexandria looking like a fish out of water.

"I'm sorry about the other day. But I hate being called something I that I never got to choose." Alexandria says confirming that she's a death eater, but without any kind of choice in it. My jaw drops at the thought of even hearing a Slytherin say sorry.

"So I was right by saying you have the mark?" I ask.

"Unfortunately yes, but I was marked at the age of three. I really had no choice or chance to say no." she says walking towards the exit. "Oh and thank you, Dobie." Then she disappears through the doorway.

"She just admitted to being a death eater, didn't she?" Ron asks trying to make sense of the whole situation.

"Are you really that thick, Ron?" Hermione asks anger streaming through her voice, without a reply from him she snaps. "She did okay."

"We should get to our next class." I say standing up and grabbing my books. "Thanks, Dobie."

"No, we should go to Dumbledore." Hermione insists.


	6. Seventeen thru Ninteen

_A/N: ok badly written rape scene coming up sorry I'll try harder next time_

**Chapter Seventeen: Darkness**

Sitting in the dark on a fluffy bed I hide.

"Watch out for who you care for."I repeat fighting tears. "They just might get hurt. I'm a fool for starting to care, knowing that something like this would end up happening. How stupid can I be?"

"Is that why you're running?" Blaise asks sitting on the bed next to me.

"Running from what?" I inquire trying to be innocent.

"Draco told me what happened so you can't play dumb. You think Draco is going to get hurt if you start caring." he states taking my hand in his. "Do you realize that Draco and I already care for you? If you're going to try and pull away now, both of us are too deep to let you go. As a friend I'm telling you if you want to lose everything you shouldn't have started anything. You're stuck with us now, Alex." With his words I sigh realizing that he's right.

"I've already seen someone die because of me. I don't want you guys to die too. If I try we have to keep it so quiet so you don't get hurt." I explain covering up my emotions.

"I understand that but I'm not too sure Draco will." Blaise says leaving the room. Leaving me to decide how I'm going to handle this situation.

** Dream **

**Alone and sitting in a dingy bedroom with darkness for company. Day and night blend together, the days as dark as death itself. I don't know how long I've been in here or if I'll get any food.**

**My hunger sounds like a lion's roar. All I can't do to ease the pain is sleep. Even the sleep is hard to reach with this endless darkness.**

**The door opens and shines in blinding white light everywhere, making my eyes burn. As I cover my eyes I hear a man laugh like this is some cruel joke.**

**"Payment time." He slurs as he casts a spell that binds my hands and feet. Lying on top of my frame his weight feels like a sack or two of bricks. As a gag is placed in my mouth to muffle my screams, I give up on fighting what's about to happen.**

**'Just get this over with,' I think looking at the hooded figure above me. Slowly removing something from his cloak makes me uneasy.**

**"You're going to never disobey our lord again." He states putting a cold blade on my cheek. Running it down my neck to the edge of my cloak. Hearing the ripping sound as my cloths I know this was going to take a while. His laugh sent chills down my spine as the cold of the room graces my skin. "You're going to fear me." The blade slices my chest as blood slowly drips off my shoulders. Cutting my pants off he seems to think everything is funny as he chuckles away. The malice in his voice scares me but fighting him would make things worse.**

**The belt buckle clinks as his pants start to slide down my legs I brace myself for whatever pain my come. As he forces my legs to spread wide jamming himself inside me.**

**"Ahhh." I scream at the shock of the explosion of pain that cruises through my body. As I scream he moves faster and digs deeper to make me know he's in charge right now.**

**"For being thirteen you're a good girl. I'll enjoy doing this again in the near future." He whispers cutting my sweat covered body.**

** End of Dream **

**Chapter Eighteen: Waking Nightmares**

Waking to the feeling of shame in the pit of my stomach. I pull myself from the tangled and twisted sheets. Up from the fluffy bed to night's darkness and loneliness.

"Maybe Blaise is awake." I say walking out of the girl's dorm room. The walk to the common room brings calm and a feeling of innocence until the voice of my nightmare comes to life. "Who are you?"

"The demon from your dreams." He slurs coming out of the shadows. The voice didn't match the face as I have heard him without this drunken intoxication.

"No!" I scream at the thought that Snape took away of what was left of my wasted childhood. Fighting tears I try to run to Draco or Blaise to hide and feel safe.

"Where do you think you are going?" Snape asks with blood shot eyes.

"Away from you." I say as I try to get past him. Grabbing my wrist with such force I start to feel the bones crack. "Let go of me you damn snake."

"You're not any better than me, death eater." He laughs as the words roll off his tongue.

"Not by choice." I mumble not covering the shame I feel.

"The dark lord is good to you, why do you feel shame? You are a pure blood and you feel shame for being a death eater! You are a mistake of Lord Voldemort's that should have died years ago." Snape criticizes and lectures as the volume of his voice wakes many of the Slytherins. They have heard every word that has been said with shock registering on their faces.

"Well, for a rapist you should have too. I remember what you did to me that night, I'll never forget the shame you caused. 'I'll make you fear me.' I felt shame not fear I'll never fear you. I was a child and you killed my hope of ever having any kind of happiness. I am dead inside because whenever I try to be close with someone they always die. Plus, what you did to me make me suspicious of almost every guy I meet so what do I do I run away from everything and everyone. I hurt them because of your drunken fun!" I say brushing tears away as I pull my wrist from his grip.

"You're weak and you always have been. Just wait until the dark lord knows of your shame and dishonor." He yells pushing me to the ground. "You're just a filthy as a mudblood; you're the scum of the earth."

"If filth is what I am then why did you touch me?" I ask standing up to him without fear.

"Back down you worthless child." Snape demands.

"No, I will not. I'm not scared of you and I don't see why anyone should be. You're the weak one here, I'm no longer a child anymore or did you forget that? If I didn't want to go to Azkaban I would kill you right now." I state not listening to him.

"You'll pay for your words, Riddle." He states walking away.

"I know I will because you're my father's whore." I say as I turn to see too many Slytherins at one time.

"Are you insane?" Someone asks walking through the crowd, cutting through the crowd like butter.

"Insane no pissed off yes." I state walking towards Draco. "I need to talk with you alone."

"I'd have to say that I agree." Draco says taking me through the crowd of shocked classmates. The boy's dorm room is more lavish than the girls dorms put together. Sitting on the bed he looks worried by something.

"Let me know what's wrong before we go on to a different topic." I state standing by his welcoming bed.

"You're the thing I'm worried about. One minute you're so open with me the next you're a closed book. Is there something wrong with me that keeps you so distant?" Draco asks looking at the stone floor.

"Look at me." I demand gently as I kneel in front of him. Pushing his chin up slightly so he can look into my eyes to know that I'm open to him now, but silence fills me as I look into his soft silver eyes. "The problem isn't you it's me. The fact that my father is who he is is stopping me. Plus, if I wanted you dead I would be completely open to you, but I don't want to lose you at all." I explain trying to fight the losing battle to kiss him again. "I can't lose you too, not when I just found you. I can't lose the heart to care again."

"I can't get hurt by caring for you." He says in a low tone. "I'm getting the mark when I'm seventeen."

"Why?" I ask backing away from him as if he had just hit me.

"It's an honor on my family name. It's what is expected of me." He explains in a whisper.

"Honor, all in honors name right? What honor is there in being a death eater? I don't know why I try." I shout as I turn to leave.

"I need you." His words stopping me at the door. "I need you there to support me. I know that the risks outweigh the benefits but you're the greatest benefit I can have by joining."

"Why am I so important that I surpass your family?" I ask turning and leaning against the wall. "How am I a benefit when in one failure I could lose you forever?" tears start falling at the thought of Draco failing anything.

"Please don't cry." Draco pleads walking over to my silhouette. "Your support is special to me because I think I love you. And if I have your support I can never fail at anything."

"But how…" I start to ask as he places a finger on my lips.

"Shh, don't even think it." He whispers raising my chin up. "Never fear that I'll ever disappear without you by my side." The space between our lips closes as my heart rate beats a mile a minute. Lightly gracing my lips I feel him pull a teasing smile.

"Don't play around." I whisper in a lust stricken voice. Biting my bottom lip as I fight the warm tingly urge.

Tracing his graceful fingers down my side I shiver pushing my body closer to his. A small laugh escapes his lips as he pulls his face farther away.

"You okay?" Draco asks running hid hand up and down my side again.

"Uh-huh." I say biting my bottom lip trying to suppress this feeling that seems to being filling my body like a burning fire.

"I don't know about that, maybe you should go." He suggests pulling away completely.

'I hate how you make me feel this,' I think holding back a groan. "Good night, Draco." Gently wrapping my arms around his neck in a sweet hug good-bye. My fingers play with his hair at the nap of his neck. Tilting my head back to look into his eyes one last time I pull him down to me to have a cherished sweet dreams kiss.

**Chapter Nineteen: Payback**

The warmth of the morning feels strange until I touch his arm.

"Wake up." I whisper turning towards him.

"No, make the night come back." He mumbles.

"Wish I could but I can't. So get up and get in the shower stinky." I joke as I kiss his forehead.

"Only if you join me." Draco answers looking at me with his stunning silver eyes.

"Can I take a rain check?" I ask trying not to wince at the flaring pain in my arm. "I got to go." Pushing the covers off my slender frame. Running to the door I leave the room with dread and fear filling my core. The black cloak from underneath my bed is out for the first time in six months. Placing it carefully over my shoulders so it wouldn't look obvious. Leaving the castle would be hard without being noticed. Intense bursts of pain flare out from my mark as I step into the common room.

"Look at her." Many whisper as I walk by. "She really is a death eater isn't she?"

"I need to hurry before I'm noticed by everyone." I whisper running to the front doors as the pain starts to increase with each passing second. Accidentally knocking into someone tipping them over I stop for a minute to help them up. "Sorry."

"You need to slow down, you…" Harry's voice stops at the sight of me. "Slow down a little and no one will get hurt next time."

"Sorry, but I can't slow down I have to go now." I say good-bye as he grabs my partly broken wrist; I flinch at the sudden shock of it.

"Are you okay?" he asks taking a notice to my flinching.

"I'm fine it's just well I ran into a wall and hurt my wrist." I explain ignoring the pain as best I can. "I got to go thanks for showing kindness to me, Harry Potter." I pull my hand away as I finish running towards the door. The doors fly open as I leave to slam shut behind me.

"Anytime." Harry whispers as the doors slam shut.

"Shit it's going to take forever to get off Hogwarts grounds." I pant as my feet fly off the ground. "The portkey leaves in five minutes, damn it."

"Need a lift somewhere?" I look up to find Blaise on his broom.

"Yes, town as quick as possible." I answer getting on the broom behind him. The feeling of the wind blowing over my body almost makes me forget what I'm rushing to. "Drop me off here."

"You got it." Blaise shouts over his shoulder. The gates appearance get bigger and bigger as the distance grows shorter. "Here you are, my lady."

"Thanks, Blaise." I laugh dismounting the broom as fast as possible. "I'll see you later." Running through the gate towards the portkey. A silver locket lays on the ground, as I bend over to touch it it sucks all the air out of me. The spinning almost making me sick as the darkness dissolves. Standing in front of a huge mansion dirt covering my legs.

"You're finally here." Senior Crabb says grabbing my upper arm forcefully.

"Yeah, it was a long run to the gate." I snarl.

"Not to fun I hope." He states laughing. "Well what's coming up won't be that fun either."

"I know it won't be." I state ripping my arm from his grasp. "If you don't try to make it worse that would be great." I walk into the house and await my fate. The hallways darkness takes a second to get used to.

"Hurry up, dark princess." Crabb demands pushing me forward.

"Take bigger steps, fatty." I shout at his slowness. "You're moving slower than me."

"Dark princess, stop right there and wait to be called." He orders walking into the room in front of me.


End file.
